Charles has a Dream

I had a dream last night in which I was enrolled in a writing class taught by a Russian literary giant and he was very difficult to understand and his teacher assistants were

former Russian KGB agents and they slammed their hands down on the table in front of me when I used bad grammar or mis-spelled words and if we made more than three mistakes per day we had to strip down to our underwear and as I looked around the room there were many students in their underwear.

After a few torturous sessions in this class we were told to envision ourselves on the Jersey shore listening to the Grateful Dead song Ripple and we had to write 800 words about how much we wanted to be home with our mothers.